A Painful Flashback

Recently I was a participant on the “Find Yourself a Noir Lover” on the House of Noir Channel. Melody Bay was looking for love and she had the chance to meet 3 bachelors, including myself. The following are the questions that were asked and my responses:

  • We would all like to know the answer to this one: What would you plan for a fun first date? Well, to make things interesting, I would surprise her by ordering some flowers to be delivered at her workplace with a note that says “Meet me downstairs.” We’d go to her favorite restaurant and we would order each other’s dishes, ones we’ve both never had and see how that plays out. Then I would take her out for a night on the town. Go on the boardwalk, get to know her likes, dislikes, things like that. I would want to give her a date she could feel completely comfortable to be herself with me (looks to be lost in thought). Sounds like she really changed you. Her who? The girl you took on a date like this. She must have been special. Oh um…(other person tries to change subject with this question) So do you kiss on the first date? Depends on the girl (says with a smile). If she’s charming, how could I resist? (back to previous asker, as to get more information about Sebastian’s recent love). Alright let’s dig a little deeper now since we do have to find an honest man for Melody here. Have you ever hurt someone you love? *Cue flashback* Um..I have and I was just trying to protect her, but I hurt her more than I can ever know. I…(looks down, as if ashamed and tries to form words) Mr. Crane, are you alright? I’m sorry I can’t do this. There’s something I need to do. I can’t explain it all on live television, but dear Melody I am sorry if I have wasted any of your time. You will find a great guy because you are a classy woman with heart. I just can’t stand the thought of losing her when I know that I love her, even if I have never told her in person. Could you forgive me? Go out and get her (Melody says with encouragement. Sebastian then exits the show).
  • (This information was recorded by Janelle Pierangelino in a Google Doc. as the show commenced).

With the first question that was asked, I went back one of the dates I had with Sasha recently and we had the best time. That was the night I was about to just say it, tell her I loved her, but I was afraid she didn’t love me back or feel strongly for me. Ever since Margaret, no girl has made me feel completely safe until Sasha. There’s something about the way her eyes look into mine and I don’t want to be anywhere else but in that moment with her. She is genuine, beautiful, caring and I do love this girl. During the show, I had a flashback to a time where I hurt someone I loved. I remembered that I was knocked out by Sasha Kellogg’s horrible twin sister Shannon Mills and that she had come back to make Sasha’s life hell. She was certainly vengeful and she went to attack me when I did not agree to her notion of breaking Sasha’s heart by making her feel worthless. She held a knife to my throat and threatened that she would kill Sasha and frame me for her murder if I did not comply. I won’t ever forget how badly it hurt to see Sasha in tears. I told her everything was a lie and that I was just using her to pass some time. Her words still ring in my head. I remember watching her walk away and everything just moved in slow motion. All I wanted to do in that moment was chase her and tell her to her face those words weren’t true, but I knew that I had to protect her any way that I could. Shannon had already tried to murder Sasha by burning down her apartment, so I knew that she was serious in her demands.

On the show, I couldn’t allow myself to be chosen by Melody because I knew how wrong it would be to say yes to a person when you’re in love with someone else. Melody deserves a man who will be fully devoted to her and I was not going to stand in the way of that. Right now, I am still trying to contact Sasha, but she is not answering my calls and she has been moved to a different floor of the Chronicle. I don’t blame her for that. I just know that I want her back, but if being away from her will protect her from harm, I will love her from afar and ensure that no one else can hurt her.

The rest of the video show is on the Google Doc that House of Noir collaborated on.